6/20/10

Dear Trevor,

Happy Father’s Day!  I love you!  You really are a great father to our girls and I have been impressed by that since the moment we had Amabella (if not sooner).

When I think of what I appreciate about you, a lot comes to mind.  When I think of why I love you, even more comes to mind.

Oh so long ago, when we were dating or broken up, I remember thinking how much I loved you regardless of the imperfections you had or the frustrations I had with you at times.  I realized that no matter how many things bugged me, I loved you more and I loved you so much that I wanted to marry you regardless.

So, we were asked what most attracted me to you before we started dating.  Well, I did think you were the cutest guy ever, which of course all the other girls thought too.  I know that probably sounds shallow, but it’s true.  I also loved the fact that both of us went on mission trips the same summer, which made me feel like we were both moving in similar directions.  Also, you were very inclusive – inviting me to join your friends to go play pool when you didn’t really even know me yet.

While we were dating, you were a strong encouragement to me.  I had always been a rather insecure person, and you helped me a lot.  I remember you choosing to teach me different sports and never putting me down for not doing well.  You would always encourage what I did well.  I had never really experienced someone doing that me and it seemed genuine.  You were a very patient person, which was something I really needed.  I could tell, early on, that you really balanced me out.  You also have NEVER spoken a word of insult to me about my body or my appearance.  Even when I’m sure I looked unattractive or less pretty, you never said as much, if anything you would say the opposite.  Those words and actions of encouragement have been huge for me.

Lots of other things come to my mind in our dating time.  Although there were hard times, there was so much fun too.  I loved spending time with you doing whatever.  I loved going to concerts together and doing ministry (either youth group, Intersection Coffee House, or Intersection Mission Squad).  I loved getting to know your heart for the Lord, true worship, and inspiring kids to grow with the Lord through those.  I also loved “scaring” you by saying “boo” and like 5 seconds later you would jump – I found it hilarious.  🙂  You just made me smile.

You also taught me a lot, either later in our dating or early in our marriage, about taking time to relax.  I always grew up feeling like I had to be “doing” something and active all the time.  I still think that’s good, but I also have come to realize how important it is to take some time for refreshing.  You also were very adamant about keeping the Sabbath day as a day of rest for us.  As hard as that was for me at first, that was the best thing for me.  God made the Sabbath for us, not us for the Sabbath, as the scripture says, and I have seen so clearly how beneficial it is for us to have that day of rest.  Another thing you taught me was to not focus so much on the past, the things we can’t go back and change, because it is not useful to just dwell on “what ifs” or “if onlys.”  You also taught me to not worry so much about what others think.  I used to place so much value on the opinion of other people and worried so much about pleasing other people and you helped me to see that I need to worry about the opinion of God and pleasing Him.

Now that we’ve been married for five years the qualities I most appreciate about you keep growing.  I really appreciate how much you care about supporting us and providing for us.  You care about protecting us as well.  You still never have put down my looks, even through my pregnancies and flabby post-pregnancy belly.  You are positive about my family.  And perhaps most importantly, you make our own family the highest priority.  You care about our girls and want to spend time with them.  You are a good father to them.

I already addressed some of this before, but our differences really have been so useful in balancing us out.  As much as our differences can be the source of frustration, they really are just what God intended much of the time.  It has been through how different you are from me, that I have learned how to relax, honor the Sabbath, not worry so much about the opinion of others, not focus on what I can not change, etc.

I am reminded often that I am not the wife I know I should be for you.  However, I know that attending Stony Point has been the best thing for me.  You know, after leaving LFC, I felt confident that I needed to allow you to select the next church for our family.  Then, the first Sunday we attended church, you selected SPCF.  I was a bit baffled thinking, why would we go to THIS church?!  Later, I realized why you chose it, and I have been so thankful for the church from that first Sunday, sensing that it is where we are to be.  It has been in the time that we have lived in Santa Rosa that I have been more challenged in our relationship, really struggling with our differences.  God has really used SPCF to challenge me and I already feel our marriage is getting better and better.  In the prayer time prep for writing this letter, I am again reminded of my shortcomings and the need to be an encouragement to you: to make the choice, daily, to love, respect, and honor you unconditionally and trust that God is at work in both of our lives, as well as our marriage.

Also, in the time, I feel compelled to take more time with the Lord regularly, as well as seeking to love you and the girls more and have my priorities in order.  I am also asking the Lord to help me be more patient with you and be better at pointing out and encouraging you in what I appreciate and what I see you doing well in.  I want to be a source of joy and encouragement to you, not one of frustration.

I love you and want to grow closer to you all the time.

Love,

Tawnya

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